poem

yeps i think i've developed a fetish for poems =) lol i'm feelin so poetic today??? interesting.

feelings she buried deep within her
push its way up to a view so clear
afraid it will bring forth all her fears
and she can do nothing but sit by in tears

only when everything is said and done
things will change but no she cant
she's just lyin to herself and keepin it all in
'cause she knows she'll be afraid when reality starts to sink in

it's precisely the truth she doesn't want to hear
knowin when she does da end is probably very near
she doesn't want all her hopes to be killed
and so her lips are sealed

yeps, my lips are sealed. i dun wanna talk abt it, i dun wanna hear abt it, i dun wanna know anything abt it. i'd rather not think abt it, i'd rather not talk abt it, cuz when i don't it doesn't hurt as much. i know i'm just lyin to myself, but i'm just scared. cuz when i talk abt it, reality starts to sink in.

i thought dat i'd thought things thru, dat i finally knew what i wanted. especially after da recent spate of events. and yet, everything has been turned upside down. i dun even know where i'm going. i feel so fuckin lost. i dunno why he did dat, but it has just made me more confused, and more hurt. i dun think he even realises it, but come to think of it, i dun think he'll even give a damn. it was me. it was my curiousity. it was me, gettin my hopes all high. it was me, thinkin too far. i guess i deserve it den, i'm never gonna be alright again. no matter how much i lie to myself, face it, my life is never gonna be a-okay. and i have no idea how i'm gonna clear up this mess. i am such a fuckin flop. i'm killin myself right now. i know by doin what i'm doin right now, i'm hurtin myself more. i don't even know why i'm doin all this. but maybe i just need to get myself hurt enough to realize things aren't gonna work out.